4/30/11 - Losing count of days. :)

Things are going pretty well! I think I have gotten the "hot leg" issue under control. I haven't received the cryo-cuff yet, but a couple days after surgery my acupuncturist gave me some herbs to take. Of course I didn't take them, I just threw them in my purse. I took them out finally and looked at them, and realized that they're for broken bones, inflammation, and swelling - the formula is called Traumanex. I cannot believe how well they worked - within an hour my leg felt pretty normal. The swelling is almost completely gone. I am taking it 3 times a day and am really pleased with how much more comfortable I am.

Being more comfortable is making my rehab go better as well, but I have discovered that doing the bike first thing in the morning is what works best for me. It means I have to get up earlier, and believe me, I do not want to get on a bike within minutes of waking - but the movement gets rid of the stiffness that comes during the night and I find that I am more comfortable the rest of the day. If I put it off until after work, I'm usually already tired at that point - so this is working for me. My hamstring sets and curls are definitely getting better, and my legs don't feel as doughy. I'm doing all of my different leg lifts and glut exercises, plus the baby squats and calf raises. I'm still doing ab and upper body stuff - I got on my Pilates Reformer and did some arm and shoulder work. I just sit on it and leave my legs out of it!

Very glad it's the weekend after a hectic first week back at work - hope you are enjoying yours!

4/28/11 - Holy Hotness

I have a furnace attached to my body. My left leg, from the knee down, is ROASTING. This is apparently normal and just due to the healing process and increased blood flow. If it was winter, and a family was freezing to death and only had their oven to (dangerously) heat their home, I could market myself to be their new heater. I wish I was kidding! It woke me up last night at 2am, so I iced it again and took more Motrin. It can be a sign of infection, but it really isn't painful, nor do I have a fever or any other symptoms of that.

Maybe the heat will melt off the rest of this permanent marker from the surgeon.

I went to my PT today, and Meghan did some kind of magical massage to break down the inflammation. It feels like a normal leg, which I am excited about. She said I needed to ice more - good thing I found a cryo-cuff on eBay and paid for expedited shipping! Hopefully it will be here by the weekend, because I am going to wear that thing OUT.

PT was great! I got to add some resistance to the bike, and also am adding baby squats, calf raises, and more glut squeezes to the mix. Other than the crazy heat, I'm feeling good about things and looking forward to the weekend.

2 weeks since surgery - Woo hoo!

2 weeks ago right now I was terrified and having my IV put in my arm, while watching my heartrate skyrocket on a monitor. I was also watching my poor mother-in-law turn green watching my surgeon bend my leg every way possible. Today, I am back to work and happy to be here!

PT is going well - we're working to get the swelling down. It's settling in my calf, ankle and foot - Meghan, my physical therapist, works on it by pushing the swelling back up my leg, which hurts in a nice way. Being back at work and more on my feet is making it swell more - I need to up my game with ice. I returned my machine on Monday - if the swelling continues I might try to find a used one on eBay to buy. Rats - I knew I would miss that thing.



Would you like some coffee with your cankle?

 I am up to 15 minutes on the bike, which I do every day! No resistance yet, but I do get to go a little faster as tolerated. I still do all my leg lift variations, and I got some glut and thigh PureBarre exercises approved by my PT! Just the more linear ones that I can do with a straight leg, but I will take it. I'm also side-stepping to build stability, and squeezing a ball between my thighs. This muscle atrophy thing is just not okay with me. She had me try some bridging this week, but my surgery leg just kept sliding out from under me. So we aren't ready for that one yet, but tomorrow she's going to have me try some baby squats. Emphasis on BABY. I also enjoy chatting with Meghan - besides being a fantastic physical therapist, she's also quite funny.

I will also say that the day I am out of this brace will be a big one. My outfits are definitely not up to the cuteness par that I like to maintain, but it is making me stretch my creativity a bit. Dear GOD I miss high heels.

Day 12 - 4/24/11

Still stir crazy. The worst part is I could get out of the house, but then can't really anything. I might go to the grocery store to add a little excitement into my day - that is what it has come to.

But there is a little ray of sunshine today to share:


The return of the prodigal knee cap

 Yes, it might be encased in still-slightly puffed, marshmallow-colored skin, but that is my kneecap. I was wondering if it was still in there - I certainly didn't expect to see it for another few weeks. Bruising is also still minimal - I do have a large bruise on my calf (Meghan, my PT says it looks like a handprint - what did they do to me while I was in there?) but it's not nearly as spectacular as I had expected. I have the arnica and cryo-cuff to thank for all of this.

In other news, I did my hamstring sets today and for the first time, did not get tears in my eye. If this is what progress looks like then I will gladly accept it.

Back to PT tomorrow and I think I am going to go back to the office on Tuesday after my PT and acupuncture appointments. I have never been so excited to be back to work - my coworkers sent me a gorgeous arrangement of roses yesterday. They're a good group and I am eager to have a little more human companionship. So back to work it is! Happy Easter to those that celebrate.

Day 11 - Reality Setting In.

So, I think I am at the point in my recovery where I'm realizing, HOLY COW, what have we done. It takes all the effort in the world to do the smallest things, and my left leg is rapidly shrinking. My thigh has not been this thin since high school, which ordinarily would be a source of joy, but it's because the muscles have left the building. I will be honest - I am possibly a little on the vain side and this is causing a panic. Am I going to turn into biscuit dough before this is all done? I know it will come back but I just need to accept it's going to get worse before it gets better. My recovery is going ahead of schedule and I need to find gratitude for that and that I WILL get better - this is just temporary. To make myself feel better I am doing as many ab and upper body exercises as I can - as long as I don't turn into one of those guys that overdoes the upper body and then has spaghetti legs all is well. You know who I am talking about.

So lets talk about the good stuff. The swelling is getting better - there are some big lumps but overall I think it's looking pretty good. I'm really impressed that the bruising is minimal. That's pretty awesome.

I always hated exercise bikes, but since that's all I can really do it's my favorite part of my rehab. I am only cleared for 10 minutes and I don't want to overdo it, so right now I am dying to get on the bike but will probably save it for later. I listen to my little iPod with my running playlist, full of super-hard angry rock music. Since I am riding at a snails pace for 10 minutes, that music may be overkill. I think I will make a new playlist and fill it with softer, more appropriate music. Or maybe I won't.



 I don't know if you can read the stats on that baby, but I go about 2-3 miles an hour for 10 minutes, for a grand total of one half mile. And it's absolutely amazing I can get my knees to allow the rotation on the bike at this stage - my PT says most people just do half-circles back and forth for weeks. This whole process is making me a little tired of being so hard on myself. It's a little exhausting - maybe that is the bigger lesson I am supposed to get out of this.

Thanks for reading - this whole journey is definitely not all puppies and butterflies, but my goal in sharing it was to give a realistic view of what happens during the process. Prior to my surgery, there were many blogs that were great resources to me - I hope that someone stumbles upon mine one day so I can give a little something back.

Enough cheesiness- I am getting on my bike. Tool playlist and all. Have a beautiful Saturday.

4/21/11 - First Day of Physical Therapy!

I started physical therapy today and was so ready - I don't sit still very well and have been itching to find out what I can (and can't) do. I also learned that as I suspected, 120 degrees in the CPM machine is very different than that range of motion out of it. I already have some of my hyperextension back in my surgery knee, which is great news. I wanted it to at least somewhat match the other, and I would look funny with one bendy knee and one tight one. I have about 3 degrees now and would like for it to stay that low. I can bend to 95 degrees on the surgery leg. Sounds great, right? However, with my flexibility I have a little more ground to make up. My non-injured leg is at 5 degrees hyperextension and 145 flexion. But I'm in a good place for now.

I am approved to do straight leg lifts and hamstring sets, which are hard! Because I'm so mobile already, she is focusing on my hamstrings first - later she will work on my quads. The quads extend and stretch the ACL, so we don't want those getting too crazy - the hamstrings balance them out and stabilize the ACL. I finally felt today for the first time that my hamstring is missing a little something. I can do the leg lifts in all directions except for the one that focuses on inner thigh work. My hamstrings are not able to stabilize my knee, so my lower leg drags and bends to the side. Gross.

I also got to get on the bike today! I am not winning any races, but I could make full rotations. It felt incredibly good to move - I really think that not moving causes me more discomfort than the surgery. Now if I can just find a way to be comfy when I sleep - having this giant thing is not a good sleep aid. I tried to roll over onto my side a couple of nights ago and it did not go well - my hubby found this hilarious to witness.

So for now, I will do 10 minutes on the bike, and my leg lifts and hammie sets 3x a day. Thank goodness I love my physical therapist, because Lord knows we are going to be spending a LOT of time together.

Day 7 - First Follow Up with Surgeon!

My doctor's office called yesterday and had to move my appointment up to today, which sounded good to me! I was interested to hear how things were from his perspective.

Overall it went great! He said that the incision on the side of my outer thigh is a little different, because he had to attach everything higher on my femur. Also, because I am small, the bolt-like thing that holds the new ligament in place was popping through the tunnel. He added a washer to make sure it was secure, so that is a good thing. So far it feels really strong! He said he couldn't believe how low the swelling was and was thrilled I am already off the narcotics.

His biggest concern for me isn't mobility; it's getting my muscles strong enough to protect the new ligament quickly. Without that, I can easily rupture it and I really don't want to do this again. So physical therapy will be key - I called and was able to start on Thursday morning. He also said my little arm weights and ab exercises were fine, but to lay off the leg lifts and lower body work other than the physical therapy. He did some additional testing on my uninjured leg during surgery, and he has concerns about how long it will hold but I am optimistic that this strength training will be great for both my stems. He just kept telling me how unstable I was - which struck me as pretty hilarious. Good thing I didn't do this 10 years ago.

Best of all, I can DRIVE! And SHOWER without stupid plastic bags and Saran Wrap. I start back to work (working from home, I am not that aggressive!) tomorrow under the watchful eye of my new manager.

I hope you weren't planning on a long lunch today.

4/18/11 Day 6

What exciting has happened in the past couple of days? Well, I hit 100 degrees on the CPM machine, which is ahead of schedule and feels really good. I'm still working on my leg extension - I think it's going well, but because my knee is so used to hyperextending that it doesn't feel like it's really straight. When I eyeball it, it looks like I'm getting there. Heel slides (I started to type "hell slides" - Freud would enjoy that) are really hard for me to do unassisted. Due to the hamstring stripping, it doesn't seem like my hamstring is interested in helping me out. I have to pull under my thigh to bend my knee - that's a more active way to work the range of motion, so it's harder than the CPM, which is more "set it and forget it". I would guess I'm about at 75-80 degrees on that measure. We will get the verdict at physical therapy, which I start a week from today! I see my doctor on Thursday, so I'm looking forward to seeing what he has to say. The big risk the first couple of months is that the hamstring graft will not be set, so it's very easy to tear. I don't think I've done anything too crazy - I'm working hard but being careful and keeping all knee movement linear. Ankle pumps and circles feel like heaven.

I took one pain pill yesterday in the morning, and 2 at night - so I'm way down on that! Today I am not going to take one and then take one at bedtime. Night is still the hardest for me. Inflammation is pretty uncomfortable - my leg feels hot all the time, especially if I'm not using my ice pack. But the pain is manageable, especially when I think about all that was done to it. When the day comes that they want me to give my rented ice machine back, I might have to fight someone. I love that thing.

4/16/11 - Day 4

Last night was wonderful - got a visit from my buddy Elizabeth, which provided many laughs and definitely lifted my spirits. I also slept really well last night - a solid 8 hours before I woke up for pain meds and new ice! I am also down today to taking only one pill each dose, but since night is still the worst I will probably take 2 at bedtime. I am pleased with that - I want to take them as needed but if I can get away without them I would rather.

I changed the dressing again today and the swelling appears to be down - the bruising is minimal as well, which surprised me. I am crediting the arnica for that - when I first started pole and aerial and looked like I had been beaten, arnica took away swelling and bruising like nothing else. I strongly recommend it. When I unwrapped it today, one of the little pieces of tape on top of the stitches came off and that freaked me out, like my shin would come flying through it. And to think I once wanted to be a doctor.

I am stir crazy today and a little cranky, but I think that's because I can't get out of the house. I am pretty sure I have seen every episode ever of Law and Order, and am hitting new lows in the shows I am watching. I make a pathetic couch potato. But here is the good news: on the CPM, I will hit 90 degrees today. I can do straight leg raises and prone leg hangs without pain. I also did some leg lifts and crunches today, as well as some little tricep dips. Once my hamstring figures out what's going on, it's gonna be so mad. But the more I move around, the better I feel - I'm still taking it easy. I am interested to hear what my surgeon says when I see him next week - I think I'm making good progress but have no idea of what the benchmarks are at this point. Even in ACL recovery, I am competitive. Go figure.

4/15/11 PM update

Today has been much better than last night! I've been taking arnica to try to control swelling, which hopefully will help. I've been pretty active too - up to 82 on the CPM machine, ahead of schedule. I'm getting around without crutches here and there, and walking (very slowly and carefully!) feels so good. I've also done lots of ankle pumps and heel slides - bending is tough but extension is more important from what my doctor has said. Bending is also hard because of all the dressings on my knee from the surgery....so it was time to change them and take a peek! I was very nervous at what it would look like, but so far it's looking pretty good! Please ignore my whiteness - it's a miracle I didn't blind the surgeon.

Missing: My Kneecap

There's a one inch incision where the shiny clear tape is, and that's where he cut to get to my hamstring. This is mystifying to me, since my hamstring is in the back, but that's the way they do it. On the other side of my thigh, there's another 1 inch incision - I think that's where they went into my femur? Who knows. I should probably ask about these things. Then there are 2 tiny holes on top of my knee cap where they did more stuff, including the meniscus repair. I'm so grateful my PCL was okay but they did find a meniscus tear that he fixed. He also cleaned up some other fun cartilage stuff that wasn't supposed to be there. The bruising is not bad at all but I hear the good colors come later - maybe the arnica will keep that from happening. The swelling is what makes it hurt so I will be happy to see that go. But for now it's definitely super puffed.

My mother-in-law stayed with me again today, and she washed my hair! It was wonderful...I took a little bath with my leg propped out of the tub later on. So fresh and so clean - nice change. And I think I am getting another visitor tonight so it's good I won't be stinky. My hubby has been so great too - he gets up at 4am to get my pain pills and change my ice, and then works all day! I am a lucky lady.

Day 3 - April 15th, 2011

So, I was thinking I was super tough and doing awesome - until the last of the nerve block left and the swelling kicked up. Yesterday overall was a great day - spent about 9 hours in the CPM (which feels so good!) and did my exercises. The last one I did before bed was propping my foot up on a rolled up towel and pushing my knee down - pretty intense but not horrible. A little while later (and it was also time for new ice and a pill - not a good combo) when I went to go to bed, it felt like my leg was going to explode. Being upright was bad, getting into bed was worse - and trying to get comfortable seemed impossible. You have to be very careful about propping your leg up - you want it higher than your heart, but you also need to prop to be under the ankle, not the knee. Propping under the knee can make the new ligament shorten, requiring more surgery, and I am not interested in that. But Mark found a long bolster pillow that we put under my calf and foot lengthwise - and I got some rest! I keep telling myself that this is the worst of it - in a few days the swelling will be better and I will be more mobile - I just had surgery 48 hours ago. It's hard to be patient!



This is my view for the day. Don't be jealous.


Today I am going to have a good day and keep everything moving and elevated - I didn't change the dressing yesterday but will today, along with a much needed shower. Thank you for reading!

First day post op = overall better than expected

Today has been okay - thank God for pain medicine and ice! This ice machine that circulates ice around my knee has been money - I am so glad that I have it. I have used it almost non-stop. Overall, I think my progress is good! I started my CPM machine at 60 degrees as instructed, but through the day have been able to get to 70. My goal is 5-10 degrees each day until I reach about 110-120 degrees over the next couple of weeks. I have also been able to begin some basic exercises - contracting my quad was really hard, especially with the nerve block. This afternoon I managed some straight leg raises and heel slides - yay! Mark's mom came to spend the day with me and brought me food, which was much appreciated. My appetite is still small but I need to eat.

It isn't all sunshine and rainbows...my nerve block is wearing off quickly and holy cow, it is a little intense. The best way I can describe it is that it feels like someone took a baseball bat to the back of my knee. The swelling in my leg is pretty aggressive as well - but overall I am happy with where I am. I am also really hoarse and don't have much of a voice from the intubation, so I'm not really talking. This ice feels like heaven - later on, we are going to change the dressing on this puppy. I'll definitely take some pics that I might share if they aren't too disgusting. Thanks again for the nice comments, texts and messages. Even if my response is a little incoherent, it comes from a good place.

Home, finally!

All went well and right now I am pretty with the program, but I have a feeling that will change shortly so I thought now was a good time for a little recap. I was really nervous and my doctor was running a little behind, so it gave me more time to be nervous. The nurses were awesome and so helpful, which was nice. I met with the anesthesiologist, who promised to give me some "kickapoo joy juice" after I talked to my doctor. We agreed on general anesthesia, and he also offered to give me a femoral nerve block that would numb my whole leg. Yes, please! Dr. Burbank came back and chatted with Mark and my mother-in-law, all while showing them all the lovely ways my knee can move. Finally, the nurse anesthetist, who was one of the nicest people in the world, came to give me the relaxation stuff. I don't remember anything really after that - Mark says I didn't do anything mortifying, so I hope that is the truth. He did say I was telling jokes in a very grandiose manner - imagine that. Here is a picture I don't remember taking - when did they put a little cap on me?

Do not let this woman make any decisions.

I woke up in recovery and they fed me graham crackers and ginger ale, which was wonderful since I hadn't eaten or drank anything since midnight!

Best meal ever. I think I drained their graham cracker supply.

I'm not really in pain but it's hard to get comfy. Mark has gone to the store to fill my pain meds prescription, and once he gets back I will start taking those. As soon as he left, our neighbor came to the back door to bring flowers that were delivered while we were gone, but I am all hooked up to my ice machine thingy and can't reach my crutches. I tried to call out to her, but I also don't have much of a voice from the tube in my throat, so it was a kind of funny, helpless moment. So now, I have gorgeous flowers I can see through the window, but I can't get my hands on them or see who they are from! I hope Mark hurries home so I can take my meds and get my flowers - also, it will be time to put my knee into the CPM machine. THAT will be fun, especially since I can take my brace off and get a little peek at the giant, swollen, leg-like appendage that I can't feel right now.

THANK YOU for all the texts and facebook messages today - they really lifted my spirits, especially when I was nervous and things were running late. I am blessed to have wonderful friends and family.

Getting ready!

Tomorrow is the big day! I am still a little anxious but there is plenty to do in the meantime to keep me busy. And if I was thinking about maybe postponing it (and I was), that thought was eradicated when my knee slipped out cleaning my mat after PureBarre this morning. Fine, fine - I will go!

There are so many things to remember before I go in tomorrow morning. Tonight we will get the couch all ready, as well as the recliner (that might be better to sleep in the first few days). I'll have to take off my nail polish (boo!) so they can check my nailbeds to make sure I'm getting enough oxygen during surgery. No food or drink after midnight tonight - then tomorrow morning, no makeup (again, so they can check my color), no lotion (so that all the little sticky monitors will adhere to my skin), no deodorant.

The surgery is at 9:15, but we will get to the hospital 2 hours early. They'll check me in, and move me to a pre-op area where they will start an IV. Because I confessed to the anesthesia nurse that I am a little anxious, they will probably give me something to relax me at that time as opposed to right before they take me in. I hope so, because otherwise I am going to be tempted to make a run for it.

I will most likely have general anesthesia, and they will harvest a section of my hamstring to make the new ACL. They'll drill tunnels into my tibia and femur to thread the new "ligament" through, and secure it with screws. If he has to replace my PCL like he thinks, they will use a cadaver tendon to do that. The whole thing should take about 2.5 hours. As soon as I am awake, they are going to have me start working to straighten my leg - they are sending me home with a CPM (Continuous Passive Motion) machine that I will start using that day. I'll put my leg into it for several hours while it just bends and straightens it for me. I will have crutches but they want me to start trying to put weight on my leg as soon as I can. The more active I am the better my healing will be - so I am all for that! They'll also send me home with a machine that goes around my knee and will circulate ice around it. This is all pretty high tech - so I am happy that I waited to have my surgery! All of these things will help my comfort as well as my healing, so I feel very lucky to have access to them.

I'll probably be pretty out of it tomorrow but if I can update this I will - it might not make any sense. I will also be busy making Mark wait on me hand and foot while I do the opposite of what he tells me to do. I am sure he can't wait!

48 hours and counting....

And I am ready to go, although I am very anxious! No medicines, no aspirin, and worst of all no Chinese herbs or Valerian to calm me down. I would like to thank my good friend Katie for suggesting that I put lavender oil on my forehead before going to bed - that plus 90 minutes of yin yoga in the afternoon worked wonders on my insomnia!

As a side note, I can't help but laugh everytime we work our hamstrings in class. My poor hammies have no idea what is coming - I feel a little guilty, like I'm fattening up lambs for the slaughter. It's all for the greater good.

How it all began....



What on earth was I thinking? View from the top of the Nastar trail at Stowe.

 So, this morning I was remembering how this whole knee affair began, and it's actually pretty funny when I look back at it. I thought I would share.

I grew up in Ocala, a small town in North Central Florida. As you can imagine, there is no snow there - other than seeing snow in Missouri when I was an infant (which I totally don't remember) I had no snow experience. When I was 14, my dad told us that we were going to Stowe, Vermont for a skiing trip, I was super excited. I had always been pretty athletic and skiing sounded like a lot of fun. It also looked kind of easy.

We went to Stowe in mid-January, and it was a fun, rather uneventful trip. My parents signed us up for skiing lessons, and we spent a couple of days on the bunny slopes under the watchful eye of our instructor. I picked it up fairly easily and was whizzing down the beginner slopes in no time! My dad saw a sign for a skiing race that was open to all ages, and suggested that we enter since we were all learning it so well. Being the competitive group that my siblings and I are, we eagerly agreed. The race was our last full day in Vermont before leaving, and it seemed like the perfect way to end the trip.

The morning of the race dawned, and we headed for the slopes. We checked in with the Nastar (!!) officials and got our numbers pinned to our ski bibs. That should have given me my first clue that I was in over my head. We went over to our usual ski lift, and the operator, seeing our numbers, pointed out that we needed to go to a different ski lift. He pointed towards a lift that seemed to go all the way up into the sky. At that point, my stomach dropped and I realized we were in big trouble - but didn't want to let on and be made fun of by my siblings. If I was going down, I was going down with lots and lots of pride. The picture at the top of this post is one that I found online of the Nastar trail at Stowe, so you can see why I was crying on the inside. Below is a picture of me and my siblings - you can tell I know this won't end well.




My face says it all. From Left: Will, Brian, me, Kim


We rode the giant lift into the sky, and were deposited at the top of the biggest mountain I have ever seen. They organized us into the lineup, and there were other people in between my siblings and me. I finally tearfully confessed to the woman beside me that I was really scared - she pointed out that she was a beginner as well, and had only skied for 3 or 4 years. OMG. As we got closer to the front of the line, I discovered that as an added bonus there were gates to go in and out of. Oh my God, this was a slalom course? It just got worse and worse. I think my brother Brian went first, and just shot straight down, missing all the gates. At least he was alive. I think Kim went next, and even though she went down on her tush the whole way, she was okay. I started to gain hope. Maybe I did have a shot - I was going to do it as legitimately as I could and make sure I did all the gates. Even if I was slow I wouldn't be disqualified.

I got the front of the line, and positioned myself into the little gateway, leaning into the door. It opened and I shot out, quickly positioning my feet into the pie piece that our instructor had taught us. This slowed me down to a crawl, and I felt better. I carefully weaved in and out of each gate, and started to think things weren't so bad. I was doing it and it was awesome! That is when I hit a patch of ice and flew off the side of the mountain.

I don't remember anything about the fall or what happened or how I fell, exactly. Nor do I know how long I was knocked out. I don't think it was very long, because I became aware of people on the ski lift above me calling down and asking if I was okay, and that I had a really bad fall. I looked up the mountain and quite a ways up was my right ski. My first thought was, "There is no way in hell I am going to retrieve that ski and put it on." I looked around and was in a bit of a wild area, just off the ski path. How on earth was I getting off that mountain? My heroes on the ski lift hollered that they were sending help for me, and I relaxed a bit. I definitely needed some help. Nothing really hurt badly, but my left knee just felt funny. I figured that was because a ski was attached to it. My little brother, Will, sailed by and asked me if I was okay - I told him to carry on.
Buck and Andy with the ski patrol arrived, and they cheerfully asked what had happened. I told them I was fine, and when they asked if I was hurt I informed that my knee felt funny but that my father was an excellent doctor and would be able to check me out. They asked for my name and my father's name, and I couldn't tell them either of those. They determined I was in shock and wrapped me in white blankets as they loaded me onto the stretcher. I still think it's hilarious that I couldn't tell them my name, but I still remember that they were named Buck and Andy.

I was nervous as they zipped me down the giant mountain in a toboggan, but we quickly got to the bottom where I was put into some ambulance-looking vehicle from the ski resort. I found out later that when they brought me off the mountain, the blanket had flown over my head and my mother, seeing my little covered body, thought I was dead. Nope, just in shock and ready to go back home. At the hospital, they X-rayed my leg and determined that I had cracked the top of my tibia, right up to my growth plate. For that reason, they didn't pull on it or do tests for my ligaments as they were concerned that if the growth plate was damaged my leg wouldn't grow. Little did they know, I wouldn't grow any more anyways. We would find out when I got out of my ginormous cast that my ACL was torn.

My last night in Stowe was awesome. I was not in pain, thanks to the medicine they gave me, and we attended the awards ceremony at the resort that night. I was awarded a purple heart award, and the resort gave me lots and lots of presents. I couldn't decide if they felt bad for me for my injury or for being so clueless. "Really? This was your 3rd day on skis and you entered a race? Really??" Yes, yes I did.

6 Days and Counting....

So, I am hoping that if I write out all the things floating around my head, maybe I won't wake up at 2am and be so tired tomorrow. I think I am just really anxious, which is probably normal - but more than that I just want to get this show on the road.

I don't think I'm that nervous about the surgery itself - I think I know what to expect with that, but it's the things I don't know that bother me. Like, not knowing when I will be up for driving. I doubt I'll stay on the pain meds for too long, and they say it will be about a week, but how will I fit my brace in the car? What if I just wear myself out and then can't drive home? My doctor's office is pretty far from my house, so I better eat my Wheaties that day. Or maybe just suck it up and ask my hubby to drive me. :)

And then there are the random things to be scared of. Like my dog knocking into me and snapping my new ligament. Or what if I just get out of bed in the middle of the night and forget, and jump on my leg. These are the things that are keeping me up and they are pretty silly! I just am ready to go so I can start recovering - wish me some sweet, sweet zzzzs tonight.

The Verdict Is In!

I went back to the doctor today, and it was a pretty interesting time. He handed me the report from the radiologist on my MRI, which said that my knee showed as normal. He thinks that scar tissue is appearing to be ligament in the MRI, but from the clinical tests he did the ACL doesn't exist. What was interesting was that my PCL, which when he pulls on it seems pretty sturdy, appears to have a tear. It's also kinked, which was very strange. So he is approaching it as needing to replace both of them, but he'll have to get his eyes on the PCL to decide what to do. He is recommending that we use my hamstring for the ACL, and then cadaver for my PCL if he replaces it. I was a little worried that my hamstrings won't hold, because they are ridiculously stretchy - but he said he would check it out and if they looked wimpy he'll use cadaver. I don't have a personal preference either way - since he does this every day I will just let him do his job. :)

SO, all that being said - why waste time? It's also progressively becoming looser, so next Wednesday, April 13th, is D-Day. I've got a lot to do before then - like build as much muscle as I can so that I'll have more to waste away while I am recovering. 3-6 months for a full recovery - and he said for my aerial stuff it will be more like 6 months.

When I think about that it makes me very sad - but I am so limited right now in what I can do it doesn't really matter. So let's do this so I can get better and back to normal.

Getting looser...

So, I get my MRI results on Monday and we will set my surgery date. I am a little nervous but very ready to move forward. I went to Miami for work this week, which was a nice change of scenery. I am a little creeped out that my knee seems to be getting looser - I thought it was my imagination, but after sitting in a chair in meetings all day with my legs crossed, my lower leg popped out from under my knee. So I guess I should learn to cross my ankles or cross my other leg.