Progress....slowly

I am enjoying the long weekend, even though it started off kind of shaky. Thursday night we had a tornado touch down about a mile from our house and we lost power for about 24 hours. I missed my stationary biking for the first time since I started - I couldn't bring myself to go upstairs to the dark attic room to do it. Plus it would have been ridiculously hot and stuffy.

I feel like I have turned a corner - I don't want to jinx myself, but I am feeling better and better. Mentally as well as physically, which is really good. I also got to do a split for the first time on Thursday at physical therapy, which I was very excited about! I can only do it with the surgery leg in front - it's not ready to be in the back yet, but that's okay. I was also okayed to start using my Pilates reformer again - I can try one new exercise per day. That way, if it causes pain and swelling by the evening I will know what did it. I've done basic squats and calf raises on it - it feels so great! I am so happy to be back on it. I tried to do some hamstring presses today but I think that was a little aggressive - my hamstring was not very interested in doing all of that.

My knee and leg are looking a lot better, too. There is definitely still some atrophy, but it's improved. It doesn't have that soft, "skinny-fat" look to it anymore, which I am happy about. It is still ungodly pale but that is okay - the scars are healing nicely, I think. Is it the Burts Bees? The castor oil? The cocoa butter? Who knows? But all three combined are cheaper than Mederma and working very well.

I am still doing a lot of PureBarre exercises daily - it's just a matter of time before I can go to class! And I would really like to try a tiny bit of jogging. It's exciting to wonder where I will be next week and what I will be able to do. We will see! I am very glad that the post-surgical blues appear to have passed and good days are ahead.

Tomorrow is Six Weeks!

Happy Almost Six Weeks to my new knee! I talked to my physical therapist, and this evening swelling/redness/hotness is normal. It's just my body's response to the new activity - as long as it's not sharp or lasting through the next day, it's fine. So I have gone back to basics and am doing lots and lots of icing. I get so impatient with it - it's easy to forget that it hasn't been that long and it was pretty intensive surgery. I need to be nicer to it instead of all pushy.

Today we did some more stability work - I balanced on a Dyna Disc, on one leg! It was freaking hard! I'm also doing bridges with my feet on the foam roller. I am really liking being challenged with these new exercises.

I really want to do splits but those are still forbidden. I can do some basic yoga, but child's pose is out of the question for a while - which is funny to me, since that's always the place you go if you can't do what the class is doing. I'm still hoping to get to try PureBarre in a couple of weeks - I know I will have to modify everything but I don't care. I will be so happy to be in a class! Hopefully soon.

Day 35 - 5 week mark!

Five Weeks today! I cannot believe it. So I celebrated by accidentally doing too much - way to go!

Everyone has told me all along not to push it, and I have really been very respectful of my body's boundaries. However, the excitement of walking in the brace and being able to bend, plus upping my time on the bike from 15 to 20 minutes for the first time this morning - yeah, I did too much. Nothing hurt while I was doing it, but then tonight my knee is all hot and red again, and really tender and achy. Rats! I am icing it and took some Traumanex, and am going to bed. We will see what my PT says about it tomorrow - hopefully my body will just get used to the increased activity. I really don't want to back off of anything unless I have to! Nighty night.

An early surprise...

Today at PT, Meghan worked on the bb of scar tissue under one of the scope scars. I am supposed to be massaging it but when I get aggressive with the tougher tissue, I get nauseous. What a baby! It seriously feels like a bb. She said that one of the scope portals was for the camera (that one looks great!) and then this one is where they did the actual scoping, which leaves tunnels in the tissue. The little tunnels fill in with scar tissue, and the more superficial part that I can feel happens to feel like a bb. Now I feel extra nauseous.

I did lots of squats on the mini-trampoline, and that was a lot better! Much more stable than when I first tried it. I also did some little stair steps - stepping up is easier than stepping down. That makes it quiver, so I will practice that on a coffee table book at home. Now, for the big surprise...

I am unlocked to 30 degrees! It feels so nice to have the stability of the brace but be able to bend my knee enough to walk. This way, I can practice normalizing my gait and not walk like a caveman. It sounds so little but I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face the rest of the day.

My new toy!

My lower back just above my hip has been really, really bothering me. It's probably due to the weird way I am walking in the brace, but it's really uncomfortable. I've used foam rollers for years to work out kinks in my muscles, but it's so tight my foam roller just couldn't do much for it. A couple of my friends rave about the famed Rumble Roller, but it's $70 and I just was never that motivated to get it. Until now. Meet my new bff.

The Rumble Roller of Pain

I am not going to lie. It's pretty intense and definitely isn't for everyone, or for every part of your body. I used it on my back and it sounded like firecrackers going off - it was awesome. It also felt wonderful on my hamstrings, although I was a little worried it would be too aggressive. I think they miss stretching. My calves, on the other hand, seized up in protest. Oh well! There's plenty to work on in the meantime.

I did 3.5 miles on the bike this morning! Look out, Lance! I'm totally kidding. My uninjured thigh is starting to get a little gigantic, but at least my recovering leg doesn't look as sad as it did. My quad is still really mushy but we're still not doing a lot of things for it - we're still focused heavily on the gluts and hammies. I'm also doing a lot of total body strengthening as well - I am going to need it if I'm going back to PureBarre! I'm holding elbow planks for about 60 seconds (I will get to 90!) and holding squats for 2.5 minutes. I've got plenty to work on. I'm also going to talk to my PT about adding in a couple short term goals - I want to be able to do my splits and also sit cross legged. With the splits it's not a challenge in terms of flexibility, but it's more getting into the position that seems to be the challenge.

I think I am accepting the process a little better than I have been and my spirits are improving as a result. I just keep reminding myself that everything is temporary and that always makes me feel a little brighter. I hope you have a good day today as well!

2nd post op visit with the surgeon - 5/12/11

I started my day with a 6am PT appointment with Meghan, and she did all my strength testing and flexion/extension measurements. From when I started, we have made great progress!
Current Extension - 2 degrees hyperextended, previous was 0 degrees (right leg is 5 degrees - we don't want that much!)
Current Flexion - 139 degrees flexion, previous was 94 degrees (right leg is 145 degrees)

She's also pleased with how much stability has progressed -that will continue to be my focus. She had me start doing squats on a mini-trampoline today - my knee just quivers away, so we have some work to do there!

My next set of short term (6-8 weeks) goals are:
1) To return to PureBarre classes with minimal modifications needed (YIPPEE!!!)
2) To be back in high heels

At least I know where my priorities are. She sent me to my visit to my surgeon with all of my reports. He is happy with the way things are going and said everything looks great, the graft is not torn, and he is glad that I am paranoid. I still have to wear the brace, but I can take it off to sleep and in 2-3 weeks, he said he'll have Meghan start teaching me to walk with the brace unlocked. My gait is pretty off from walking in the locked brace - I'm not bending my knee enough and it's straining my hip.  He had brought in a doctor in training to feel my freaky joints - they really have a good time with them there. I am glad to entertain! He also said the scars look great and he said that the cocoa butter was the best thing out there for them! Check it out - they are looking better.

I will see the surgeon in another month and hopefully we will be in even better shape!

5/10/11 - almost one month....

Things are going well! The bike is helping with the muscle atrophy, which I am very happy about. My right thigh is still about twice the size of my left, but I think once I get out of the brace and can walk a little more it will even out with use. My scars are looking good too - I reek of cocoa butter, but that is a small price to pay for faded scars. And way cheaper than Mederma - yippee!

The aerial show this weekend was fantastic! Everyone did so well and I was so caught up in the performances it didn't occur to me to be sad. Meghan, my physical therapist, came as well! She wanted to see what exactly it was that I needed to get back into when all is said and done. I think she was slightly alarmed, especially by the amount of "hanging by one or two knees" that she saw. Every once in a while she would nudge me, point, and just say "no". Watching the amount of twisting and turning on aerial silks hurt my knee to even see it - I think that will be the toughest one for me, but I will cross that bridge when I get there. In the meantime, I will keep on with my baby steps! It is really going to be a long road but I am getting better every day.

I still have a fair amount of pain, but it pops up all over the place. It's mostly achy sensations, and also some itching inside of the knee, which is pretty unpleasant since I can't scratch under my skin. I keep telling myself it's all part of the healing process. Every couple of days, I have a tiny panic that somehow I have ruptured the graft, but Meghan assures me that I would know if I did. I see my doctor on Thursday, so we will see what he says. I am going to lobby for a couple of things - getting out of the brace or at least unlocking it, and maybe starting some (extremely gentle and easeful) yoga. I know he's the professional, but I am going to build my case and let you know how it goes. I am sure he will be thrilled to know all of my plans and opinions.

5/5/11 - Bandage free!

Brace yourself. I got a new phone (yay!) and it has a great camera on it, but I think it makes my skin look downright ghastly. Or maybe it isn't the camera and it really looks that way - yikes. I would get a spray tan but I don't think my little wounds would appreciate it. I got the clear plastic bandage off, and nothing spewed out of it when my physical therapist removed it, to my relief!

The swelling is just a few lumpy areas around my knee, and the scars are healing. I heard to save my money on Mederma and slather it with Burt's Bees and straight up Cocoa Butter instead. So that is what I am doing! I started doing lots of exercises on the ball today, and that was fun but hard. I think I will sleep like a champ tonight.

I am really proud of myself for sticking to the rehab so far - I have not missed a set of exercises or my daily bike time. I know it sounds funny, but I am almost scared to! Knees are important, people. If you bust up the ones you have, you have to take care of them when you get them fixed. Otherwise, what is the point?

This weekend we're going to go watch my aerial class perform at a student showing. I am so excited to see everyone and what they have put together, and am going to try not to be too sad. I'm also coming to terms with the fact that there are going to be a lot of things I'm not going to be able to do again, but so far in this process I am learning to focus on the things that I CAN do- and I'll just have to continue with that!