Happy Birthday to Me!

So, guess what? Today is one full year since my ACLr! Wow - I am floored that it's gone by so quickly. Although, in the beginning it was so slow! 

I am still in PT - they have extended it by a couple of weeks, but it's okay. It definitely getting better and I do feel like the fluid has reduced. Some days are better than others and I think I just have to accept that is my new normal! I am fine with that. With dance it's important that I have as much flexion as possible but I might just have to accept that some days will be stiffer and I won't be able to bend as much. With running, some days I might not be able to do what I planned if it starts to puff. I think most of all this entire journey has been a big lesson about managing my expectations -which is a good lesson for my knee as well as life. 

Today I was able to get my hyper-extended flexion to match my other knee! Pretty cool. My joints are wonky so if they match things are getting back to normal. Even with my little bumps in the road, I would not change having the surgery done. I have stability and confidence in my knee that I never would have had without it! Cannot BELIEVE that one year ago tonight I was fasting, terrified, and figuring out how far backwards my knee would actually bend (or how sideways - barf). I would not change anything - my surgeon and PT were amazing and I did everything they told me to do. So it's all good.

Long overdue update!

It has been forever since I posted! Let's see - lots to catch up on. Last week I celebrated 8 months since my ACLr. Sometimes it feels like it's been forever, other times it feels like yesterday. I am continuing to build strength and can tell that my hamstring strength is improving, which I am really happy about. There is still a difference in the 2 legs, although it's not too obvious by looking. I also have to keep in mind that my surgery leg was weaker to begin with as I favored the other leg for so long prior to my surgery. My inner thigh above my knee is a little mushy - I don't want to look like I have a fat knee forever. Sigh! 

I have also decided to push my return to aerial back, indefinitely. I may not go back at all. This was a very difficult decision for me, but the right one for a couple reasons. The torque on a knee when you are hanging upside down by it- thinking about it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach at this point. Another piece is that honestly, I am really happy with my recovery and my activity level until I start berating myself about why I haven't gone back yet. It will be a long time before I have that level of trust in my body and my abilities - and if I don't have that, I am putting myself in danger if I go back. The cherry on top was that a dear friend of mine that I train with passed out while she was upside down, 18 feet in the air. She broke her neck and is recovering from a spinal fusion and disk removal. It's just not worth the risk anymore to me - right now anyways. So I am trying to blend my aerial cravings and dance into pole dancing! It's a lot closer to the ground and a fun way to continue to get stronger. And get a LOT of bruises. 

I've been traveling a lot for work so keeping active has been key for me! I went a few days last week without running or biking and regretted it - it was so stiff and achy. I am also getting some really nice new pops on the lateral side of my knee - that area has been really tight. I am working on sitting cross legged again and doing pigeon pose from yoga. The sounds that it makes are pretty spectacular. I am still a dreadful runner but I keep trying! I ran my first 5k the first week of November, and did it in under 35 minutes. I will not win any awards, but I ran almost the whole time and was really proud of my progress. My ultimate goal is to do a 10k, but honestly I don't see that happening anytime soon so I will keep knocking out 2-3 mile runs a few times a week. 


I was also officially discharged from physical therapy! It was a little sad. I have been there 48 times this year! 48 whole hours, not counting the endless hours that I did (and continue to do) at home. I have a lot to be grateful for! I am sure I will go back to tune ups - I can't say enough good things about the benefits of sticking to a consistent PT program. It has really helped me.


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Some progress....slowly.

It's been a good October! I am officially past the 6 month mark. I was supposed to see my surgeon on Friday, but he rescheduled for 11/7. I will be interested to hear what he has to say, but I think it will be positive. I am still running - and am signing up for my first race, a 5k to benefit cancer research on 11/5. So I am really hoping I don't do anything stupid at the race, because I don't want to hear it at the doctor's appointment. I am pretty much doing 50/50 splits, meaning I run and walk equal amounts. I usually just mark it by song on my iPod. When I first started going 1.2 miles was really hard, and now I am built up to 3-3.5. I go really slow and am not going to break any speed records but I am liking it. It's also a good excuse to buy cute running clothes. Totally justifiable.

My hamstring still is really lagging - we're still doing e-stim at physical therapy. I can definitely think of more fun things to do, but mentally it makes me feel better. It's nice to know it is still alive in there, just taking a little nap, I guess. I'm also surprised that I still have fluid in it after all this time - it puffs up all the time! I have been traveling a lot for work and after flying it's huge. I love ice.

Speaking of ice, I am currently icing something besides my knee right now - I pulled my adductor running this weekend, so I am resting up! I don't want to be down for long - my race is in a couple weeks and I am excited for it. 

Thank you for reading and hope you are having a fabulous fall!

Almost 6 months...what is new?

I really can't believe it's been almost 6 months. In some ways, it's flown by but in others, it's so slow. Overall, things are good and I am making progress, although it's slower than it was initially. I think I got spoiled by all the early progress - I was grateful for the quick healing! But the long run has been a lot harder.

The knee itself feels stable and the mobility is great. Meghan says that if I wasn't as active before as I was, I would probably be a lot happier! I have had it in my head since the beginning that in 6 months, I would be back to aerial (and totally normal). That isn't exactly the case. My medial hamstring (the gracious one that provided the graft) is not happy about being cut, and is really lagging. In muscle testing, the hamstring as a whole is strong, but that little section is barely responsive. I first noticed in my Pure Barre classes- the hamstring exercises have been getting harder, not easier. My calf has been pitching in to help, so it's cramping and pissed most of the time. Meghan used an electronic stimulator on it, to "shock" the muscle back into responding. It did twitch, so it's still alive in there, but it's just healing slower than I had thought. The other piece is, well, I'm not a kid anymore and don't heal as quickly.

I'm trying to find other activities that feel safe to stay active, and that is a very humbling experience! I am really trying to get better at running, and it's slow going. I am a pretty sucky runner, but at least I am moving! I am happy about that. I am also riding the stationary bike and taking lots of Pure Barre. So it's not so bad - I'm just impatient. Imagine that. I have also made friends with a girl that was a marathon runner until she got stress fractures in her hip! So she is building back into running - she has been a big inspiration to me. She completed a sprint triathlon this weekend and trains so carefully, with so much respect for her body and it's limits. What a concept! Maybe that is why I am going through all of this. Good lessons.

13 weeks and one day!

Well, I made it past the dreaded 12-week mark! I see my surgeon next week to get checked, but everything is going okay. My hamstring is still really weak but it is getting stronger - just still working on it every day.

I "graduated" from my formal physical therapy program today, so that was kind of exciting. I have really loved it -it's been so good to have goals to work towards to keep me moving. I celebrated by jumping on my post-op leg on the mini-trampoline, jumping on both legs as hard as I could, and (drumroll please!) sitting on my heels! I still have fluid in my knee that makes this really hard for me, but today was a good day and I was able to do it. It felt really good and I was super excited, especially for 6am.

Jeez, I look short in this picture.

So that's it for now! I probably won't update this too much unless there is something exciting to share, but I still have a ways to go! I will start tiny amounts of jogging in two weeks, and will see my PT once every other week. Thank you for reading - this has been and continues to be a journey for me!

11 Weeks!

Today is 11 weeks since my surgery! I can't believe it's been that long.

Right now, my main challenge is my IT band pain. This week it has stuck to my quad, and Meghan actually took a sink plunger (yes, you read that right) to it. She suctioned it onto my thigh and slid it around to get it to separate everything out. I can tell you that it did not feel that great, but it worked and so it was worth it. I'm still a little swollen and tender but it gets better each day! I'm still icing a lot too - that helps. I also got on the treadmill this week at PT - very exciting! I JOGGED for 2 30-second intervals and stayed on for 10 minutes total. It hurt to jog but it was bearable. I was so excited - you have no idea.

I'm going to Pure Barre 4 times a week at this point and that is going really well. They have lots of new hamstring exercises that they have rolled out (variations on the horrible one I described a couple of posts back) and they are doing those at every class. I wonder sometimes if Meghan is calling them and telling them to lay into the hamstrings. Seriously though, that is where I need to really build up for both of my legs, but expecially the post-op one. It is getting stronger and that's pretty exciting when I can feel some progress. I don't want to cry anymore in class during the hamstring section. I remember crying at doing simple heel slides after surgery. Wow. I really am so grateful for that class because for the 6 weeks or so before my surgery Pure Barre was really the only exercise that felt safe to me - and now as well. I can't say enough about the method or the wonderful instructors that have been so encouraging and kind to me.

My brace came in! It's really, really nice. I would say that even if I didn't know how much my insurance paid for it. It's very comfortable and has 6 straps! They are numbered so that you use them in the right order. It's super lightweight and I think it will be great as I start jogging. I don't think it will be so good for me at aerial or dance, but that's okay. I've got a long way to go before I can get back there anyways.

9 Week and 6 Days - ouch

I had a great weekend of walking, friends, good food, and Pure Barre! Everything felt great (beside the hamstring torture exercises) and one of my teachers even commented on how much more stable I am looking. Then yesterday happened. Aching on the outside of my thigh, near the femur hardware, that got progressively worse. By the end of the day it was really painful to go down the stairs and I was limping. Boo!

I went to PT this morning, and was grossed out at the verdict. Apparently, with my hardware being placed a little differently, it is irritating my IT band - which is responding by sticking to everything around it, including the scar tissue on the hardware. So my morning was spent having it separated from all of the surrounding tissue - apparently this may be an issue that will come up over and over again. It was absolutely as unpleasant as it sounds - I will need to be more vigilant (and apparently more aggressive!) in foam rolling that area.

But the good news is that my worst case scenario fears were not true - everything really is okay with the graft! So that is the most important thing, especially during the first 12 weeks when it's the weakest. We'll keep trucking!